Life lessons, by Dr. Seuss :)

A positive body image

Body image can be described as how individuals see themselves when looking in a mirror, or when picturing themselves in their mind, and their ideas about their body, such as height, shape, and weight and age. Essentially, body image describes how one perceives one's appearance to be in relation to others, which in many cases may be dramatically different from one's objective physical condition or how one is actually perceived by others.
The following steps can help you change the way you think about your body, and boost your self confidence.
This technique is used in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy,  a psychotherapeutic approach that aims to solve problems concerning dysfunctional emotions, behaviors and cognitions through a goal-oriented, systematic procedure.


The mental filter
This is when we focus on one negative aspect of ourselves, dwelling on it to the exclusion of all else.
Example: ‘I won’t be able to enjoy my holiday because my stomach is so fat.’
Rationalisation: ‘There are plenty of things about my body that I really like. Why not focus on them instead?’


All-or-nothing thinking
This is the kind of thinking that lays the foundation for perfectionism. If we can’t reach our unrealistic expectations we give up and do nothing at all.
Example: ‘If I don’t lose a stone before going on holiday, I might as well forget eating healthily, and start binging again.’
Rationalisation: ‘I’m eating well and feel much healthier. There’s no point trying to lose a stone in a fortnight. It’s enough to eat a little more healthily so my energy levels rise before I go away.’


Disqualifying the positive
What happens when we dismiss the positive and automatically discount people’s compliments and positive reactions towards us.
Example: ‘He doesn’t really like my body; he’s just pretending.’
Rationalisation: ‘He says he likes my body, and has no reason to lie. The simplest explanation is probably the most correct – that he’s actually telling the truth.’


Fortune telling
Without any evidence, we anticipate that something’s going to happen, and then we act and feel as if it had already happened. We’ll also ‘mind-read’, jumping to negative conclusions about what people are thinking about us.
Example: ‘When I get on the beach, everyone’s going to look at me and think I’m enormous.’
Rationalisation: ‘Actually, no one will be looking at me; they’ll be far too busy thinking about themselves.’


‘Should’ statements
When our reality falls short of the very high standards we set for ourselves we can get upset and berate ourselves for not living up to our ideals.
Example: ‘I should be ultra-thin for summer.’
Rationalisation: ‘There is no real reason I should be so incredibly thin for summer. It’s far more realistic and kinder to myself to want my body to be healthy and active instead.’


Labelling and mislabelling
Instead of describing a situation objectively, we give negative labels to ourselves, which makes us feel worse.
Example: ‘I look like a beached whale.’
Rationalisation: ‘I’m clearly not a beached whale. That’s a particularly unpleasant thing to call myself, and I wouldn’t dream of saying something like this to anyone else.’


Now, do this exercise on your own. Write down any negative thoughts about your body. Identify the cognitive distortions behind them from the list above. Next, write down a rational thought to replace each negative thought. And remember, this technique has a far more profound effect if you actually write these thoughts down and if you practice it.
It can also be used conserning other aspects of your life.

* www.psychologies.co.uk

Stepping into the dark

             Think of darkness and we think of fear, of predators lurking in the shadows. To be in the dark is to be ignorant, vulnerable and fearful. While it’s a natural survival instinct for us to be wary of dark places, new research reveals that psychologically and physically, we need to spend some time in utter darkness. In fact, it is more the constant presence of light in our lives that may give us cause to be fearful.

Underlying fear
A recent study for Powergen revealed that 98 per cent of households with children leave some kind of artificial light on overnight. Add to that the light pollution of both larger cities and small towns, which studies reveal has grown by more than 24 per cent in recent years, and it seems few of us actually experience total darkness.


Hidden benefits
Yet scientists believe we must spend time in the darkness in order for our minds and bodies to function normally. ‘Darkness is important to us, not so much in terms of the quality of sleep we get, but because it triggers our bodies to begin producing melatonin,’ explains Professor Gaby Badre, consultant in sleep medicine and clinical neuroscience.         ‘Melatonin stabilises our biological clock and regulates our circadian rhythms. Studies have revealed that people who do have light surroundings at night don’t have the same peaks and troughs of melatonin production as normal adults. Instead, your body behaves in much the same way as that of an elderly person. You don’t have periods of alertness and restfulness, just general lethargy.
         ‘After a few days of disruption to your circadian rhythm, your whole biological function can be affected, everything from your metabolism to your appetite. It’s like being jetlagged, but having that disruption continue for more than just a few days. If your hormones are not in phase with your sleep and wake pattern, this can cause serious health issues with your cardiovascular system, blood pressure and cognitive problems.’

There has also been a string of studies linking exposure to lights at night to breast cancer, colon cancer and leukaemia in children. ‘There’s no absolute proof this link exists yet,’ says Badre. ‘But what we do know is that melatonin does have an antioxidant effect, and it could well be the case that by stimulating its production, the darkness does help to protect us against cancer.’

Confidence boost
               Overcoming our instinctive fear of darkness can help our bodies to function normally and be protected against fatal disease, but it can also help our minds, too. In northern climes, it is not the dark winter months that see a dramatic rise in depression and suicides, but the long, endless daylight of the summer months. And many psychologists believe that learning to feel at ease in the darkness can help us to feel less fearful in our lives.
             ‘Fear of the dark often goes hand in hand with all other kinds of phobias and anxieties because, unlike almost any other emotion, fear emerges from your thoughts about something that could happen,’ says Tom Breeze, an NLP practitioner who works with phobias at the ProMind consultancy. ‘It’s not like sadness, or anger, or happiness, which you feel as you live through an experience. Fear is the only future-based emotion that is evoked by your mind imagining negative possibilities.
             ‘Learning to feel comfortable in the darkness again can help us to alter our perception of the world. Your behaviour affects your thoughts, and you’ll gain a huge sense of confidence and power in overcoming a fear.’

* www.psychologies.co.uk